Houston, We have ourselves a (Starstruck) FAILURE

After watching an hour of the latest Disney movie, Starstruck, I seriously want to barf, punch the wall, growl like a gorilla, and then throw the TV down the Niagara Falls. Yeah, that 1 hour and 30 min was pure torture – filled with clichés, cheesy romance moments, shallowness, and most of all, barbie-like, spoiled mannequins .

EDIT: Warning, if you happen to like Disney and don’t like what I wrote, please don’t mind it and close this window, sorry for your inconvenience :)

Yay, another Disney Failure, Whoopie.

Where to begin, where to begin…hm….Oh that’s right, the lame plot – as I mentioned in this post, DISNEY’s Starstruck included the basic elements of a Disney Fail Movie.Let’s list them down shall we?

1. Predictability- Check! Star meets girl when bumping into her and hit her forehead. They go on escape, gets car into mud water, somehow falls in love, he tells her that “us” have to end here and now….yatiyatiyata, he realizes a movie deal is not worth as much as the girl (REALLY?! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT MOVIES DOESN’T > HUMANS :O), goes back, sings to her, they get together, and seriously, we’ve all seen this before.

2. Romance- Check check and check, and the most pathetic, cheesy and cliché showing of romance all crushed in a blender and stuff into one movie like stuffing into a turkey on thanksgiving morning. See, there are the movies that make teens everywhere either hypnotized into buying disney’s products, or emo.

3.Stupid Characters-OHHOHOHO, man does this movie have an abundance of these. About 85%, nay, 98% of the girls you see in the movie are pathetic, shallow, and speak like they have a nasal condition and/or think they are on top of the world and that the only thing that matters is popularity, their makeup and boyfriends. Rarely any girl in the world is really like that – not these days


Previous prediction of Starstruck: Starstruck- Although i haven’t seen this movie, It’s gonna be bad, it is gonna be soo bad that it’s good (credits to Kathy) A star just magically bumps into a girl that doesn’t fangirl over him and they start hanging out in Hollywood. DOUBLE BARF+ NOSEBLEED

Plot you ask? Yeah, there isn’t anything special that you haven’t seen a million times before in disney films, Camp Rock, High School Muscial. Let’s just say, the most entertaining thing in this movie was the credits.

Cast? Sterling Knight, this random girl I don’t know, other people, I don’t really care, they all act the same quality, which portrayed in this movie, is as flat as a sheet of paper. Mathematically, Bad Plot + bad acting = HORRIBLE MOVIE.

Another thing, Disney movies with unrealistic plots like this trick young girls into thinking that stuff like this actually happens in reality, they don’t and 99.9999% of chances are that they never will, boy/men/star minds will never do something as cheesy as that – in other words, chivalry is dead, since the medieval ages, there’s a reason Shakespeare wrote them so people can watch them in THEATRES and STAY THERE.

They should fire their screenplay writer, because I can come up with a better movie than that, it is just way overused.

Do you know why Disney make these movies all the time and never care what kind of brain damage they give to those people who actually know real entertainment? It’s because all they want to do is sell merchandise, build up their empire, make money, waste it, make more movies and celebrities, so they can control the entertainment industry even more so they can keep the cycle going. It’s like the bad face acne that never goes away, you try proactive, doesn’t work, you use soap, doesn’t work either, even when you get plastic surgery it still doesn’t work. Sorry, once you’ve got disney, it’s a fatal case, there’s no going back – either you hate it, love it, or haven’t watch it. So pick your side 🙂

Final Judgement: (LOL, just like Cardcaptor Sakura) I give this movie eight hundred rotten tomatoes out of 800 trillion dead flies on the ceiling, along with 659 buckets of vomit and whole lot of burnt light bulbs. The only reason EVER if I would buy this movie would be to feed it through a blender, crush it, hammer it, throw it down the Eiffel Tower, pick it up, feed it through a juicer, put it in a ziplock bag, step,spit and insult it, then flying to the Disney office and giving it to them.

Mood: Nasty, Hypocritical

Word of the Day: Croft (apparently it’s not in my dictionary, but it means a farm)

Doing: Cooking beans and rice in Tegucigalpa,Honduras

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About Starburst-chan

A blogger, otaku, nerd, loves sweets, often talk to herself
This entry was posted in Critique Madness, Entertainment on Trial and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Houston, We have ourselves a (Starstruck) FAILURE

  1. Douja says:

    I have to agree with you and it is simply over played!!

    • Thanks for the comment!
      Watching it was like having to hold your breathe, dive into a pool of grape jelly, and eat your way through. (although i may be exaggerating.) 🙂

    • Anonymous says:

      I REALLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY liked the movie what is wrong with u people it was one of the BEST disney movies EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:P

  2. HI says:

    Nicely said,
    dont watch disneyy though so
    not gunna be a hater 🙂

  3. randomlyanonamous says:

    hiiiii
    i watched bounty hunter todayyy ^^ it was funny …
    i think Disney should just stick w/ making those fantasy princess stories instead of making up these”real life” scenarios

  4. Pieeee says:

    LOLS. Once again, I agree with you.
    They seriously over use romance plots AND they make the guy and the girl meet in the most predictable and STUPIDEST way ever.
    I’m all game for romance films but this is…TORTURE. It’s so…there are no PLOT TWISTS or, or ACTUAL PLOT that would make me want to watch it.
    I’m a picky person, so it could be just me but I’ve seen a lot of movies in my life. Did you hear About The Morgans was better then this. (Although the movie kinda stinked in my opinion.)
    I like how you reference Card Captor Sakura.. ( My first Anime ever watched.) I also love your last paragraph because sometimes, I want to do that to all those stink’in Disney movies.
    Thanks for writing the blog. Made my day. :p

  5. I hated it I totally agree with you 🙂

  6. Anonymous says:

    I LOVE STARSTRUCK U PEOPLE R SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MEAN IT WAS A KID SHOW IF U THOUGHT IT WAS GOING 2 ALREADY BE BAD WHY DID U WATCH IT HUUU ANSWER THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Again, it’s just my own opinion,
      It’s just purely over played, the plot has no “taste” anymore…
      but that’s just my opinion.
      if u like it, fine with me 🙂

    • and to answer ur question – I KNEW it was going to be bad and i watched it to see if I was right – like how a scientists experiments to check if his hypothesis is right.:D

  7. Linni says:

    didnt even bother watching that crap

  8. nicole says:

    y ademas su musica es fantastica me encanta la parte donde aparece en el comiense

    • i don’t know spanish, so i just used a translator xD
      okay, sure, yeah, it’s your opinion,
      as i said earlier in the post, it’s just my personal thoughts and i’m not forcing you to agree with it…
      as indicated in the beginning so no one will get offended xD

  9. andy says:

    amo starstruck y a sterling knight

  10. Larissa says:

    Ami la peli me dejo
    si palabras ess una de las mejores peliculaass
    qeeee ee observadoo
    Sin mas palabrass me Facinoooooooooo

  11. Anonymous says:

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
    GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG

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