Critiquing TV- Disney (teen fail) shows and movies

When you open the TV and flip through the channel, sooner or later you’re gonna see a Disney show, no matter if it’s Sonny With a Chance, Hannah Montana or JONAS (BARF) – IT’S EVERYWHERE, – like wasps in the middle of summer.

From watching, no, scratch that, ENDURING about 6 years of watching TV, probably a majority that are disney shows, I think I have capture the elements of Disney Shows:

1. Predictability – OH WHAT WOULD DISNEY BE WITHOUT PREDICTABILITY? Its plot is so predictable that about two minutes into the movie/show, you know what’s gonna happen next. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, something gets in the way, happy ending, blah blah blah.
2. Romance- Romance is something that almost every single show that wants to be popular should have – apparently Disney wants their viewers to plunge into unrealistic romances as fast as they can…
3. Stupid character(s)- There is always someone who is extremely stupid, sometimes it works out in the beginning, but that actor/actress starts getting annoying after one or two seasons – e.g. Max Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place, London Tipton from the Suite Life series.
4. Useless episodes- Sooner or later, no matter how good or how bad the show is, they’re gonna hit a bump in the road and start having a useless episode, like a filler for animes…just no point at all, STUPID. with no plot line, puts viewers to sleep.

Now I’m gonna offend some people and start insulting some shows. Let’s do what they call a “feedback sandwich” they teach you in English class – except I’m starting with the bad, not the good >:)

Let’s kick things off with a list:

WORST DISNEY SHOWS/MOVIES EVER PRODUCED (recent)

1. JONAS – THAT SHOW IS DOWNRIGHT HORRIBLE. All they do is to make the three poster boys of hollywood -Kevin the oldest one, act stupid and weird like he’s some kindergartener, Ni ck, the youngest one, who i seriously despite the most the “mysterious/non stupid/sarcasm” songwriter and Joe the lovesick, but also partial idiot one who goes after Stella, the half airhead fashion designer. When you put that all together with horrible plotlines, bad transitions, other boring actors and the brother band that only play random songs and get glomped by fangirls – you get a recipe for migrane, headache, barf, scream and diarrhea for 500. That show, in my views, is a disgrace to TV and teenagers everywhere
2. Zeke and Luther- First of all, are you kidding me?, a show about skateboarders who act like they can’t even put on socks the right way… seriously? Bitchy sister, weird main character and his weirder best friend. Not as bad a Jonas, but still, idiotic beyond belief..
3. Camp Rock – I WANT TO GO TO CAMP, BUT I DON’T HAVE MONEY, I WANT TO FIT IN, I WANT TO BE POPULAR, I WANT TO SING! PLEASE NO. EWW. ok you want money? go work instead of pretending to sing. that has got to be the most overused plotline in the history of television. Disney is boring, they don’t add any twist, this movie has got to be as shallow as a kiddie pool. And yet, they’re making another one….
4. Sonny With a Chance – 6 letters- B O R I N G – there’s a spunky girl, a blonde airhead/half cheerleader, two idiots, and a random blonde and cocky star who’s the love interest. With the most intriguing line being the “fine!””good!”every-eposide-exchange between Sonny and Chad. WE GET HOW THEY ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER DISNEY, SO STOP TELLING US, JUST MAKE THEM TOGETHER, WE’RE NOT IDIOTS.
5. Starstruck- Although i haven’t seen this movie, It’s gonna be bad, it is gonna be soo bad that it’s good (credits to Kathy) A star just magically bumps into a girl that doesn’t fangirl over him and they start hanging out in Hollywood. DOUBLE BARF+ NOSEBLEED

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The good thing is that Disney, because it makes such horrible shows, it gives us appreciation to those shows who are acutally good and worth watching from other channel 🙂

There are some good shows, obviously in comparison to the rest of Disney’s works, that are actually good –  Wizards of Waverly Place actually has a good and complicated plot, but it hit its peak after the movie, and is starting to deteriorate. Down it goes with the rest of the horrible shows. The suite life on deck, same thing, hit its peak, and is starting to nosedive into rock bottom, just not as fast.

So people, take from this what you will, but leave the cartoons and acting to Nickelodeon. Animation to Dreamworks and Pixar. Disney’s just the gum on the bottom of the table… don’t touch it :O